I've been spending a lot of time this week wondering if Bump is a boy or girl. When I was pregnant with Little E I was convinced she was a boy - to the point where I was secretly buying blue baby grows! Everyone else was 50/50. This time 95% of people are convinced I am carrying a boy. I think I am too but once bitten twice shy so I'm keeping an open mind!
Most people seem to think we want Bump to be a boy and say things like 'it'll be so nice for your Husband if it's a boy'. They are wrong. We are honestly quite happy regardless. Husband has three sisters so he's quite comfortable in a household full of women (I think he likes being unique!) and I know he won't feel any sense of loss if we don't have a boy. If we do then that is great too, a different challenge for us and time to clear the loft of the plethora of pink stored up there!
There was no question of finding out the sex before baby was born. Husband even averted his gaze at the 20wk scan for fear baby would be an exhibitionist! But I know for many people it is a big deal. Would I feel the same way if Little E had been a boy? I don't know. My relationship with my mum is so strong I can't imagine not having that relationship with a daughter of my own but I also know the love I felt immediately when I saw Little E didn't change once I knew her sex (in fact I thought she was a boy for 30seconds until the midwife corrected herself!) The love was the same regardless. The first time I felt that kind of love was eight years earlier when I met my nephew for the first time. I remember the rush of emotion being so strong that I was completely freaked out and I really didn't know what to do with the feeling. I was scared at how much I loved that little person and the lengths I would go to to protect them.
So, for now, I am left happily wondering and the nursery is staying yellow!
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