I've been spending a lot of time this week wondering if Bump is a boy or girl. When I was pregnant with Little E I was convinced she was a boy - to the point where I was secretly buying blue baby grows! Everyone else was 50/50. This time 95% of people are convinced I am carrying a boy. I think I am too but once bitten twice shy so I'm keeping an open mind!

Most people seem to think we want Bump to be a boy and say things like 'it'll be so nice for your Husband if it's a boy'. They are wrong. We are honestly quite happy regardless. Husband has three sisters so he's quite comfortable in a household full of women (I think he likes being unique!) and I know he won't feel any sense of loss if we don't have a boy. If we do then that is great too, a different challenge for us and time to clear the loft of the plethora of pink stored up there!

There was no question of finding out the sex before baby was born. Husband even averted his gaze at the 20wk scan for fear baby would be an exhibitionist! But I know for many people it is a big deal. Would I feel the same way if Little E had been a boy? I don't know. My relationship with my mum is so strong I can't imagine not having that relationship with a daughter of my own but I also know the love I felt immediately when I saw Little E didn't change once I knew her sex (in fact I thought she was a boy for 30seconds until the midwife corrected herself!) The love was the same regardless. The first time I felt that kind of love was eight years earlier when I met my nephew for the first time. I remember the rush of emotion being so strong that I was completely freaked out and I really didn't know what to do with the feeling. I was scared at how much I loved that little person and the lengths I would go to to protect them.

So, for now, I am left happily wondering and the nursery is staying yellow!

This post is linked to the #PoCoLo fun on twitter. Join in each week at www.vevivos.com

This week I am sharing a #minicreation Little E created when her cousin Big E came to stay last weekend. Big E is six so very adept at colouring in and Little E certainly learnt some new skills from her. This collaboration is titled 'Fairy'

Share your #minicreations at http://www.kidglloves.com/mini-creations-wednesday-22nd-january-2014/

Little E and I have a favourite soft play: Treasure Chest on the outskirts of Crawley. It isn't the cheapest but it is clean, comfortable and serves really good food. Little E has recognised how good the food is and insists on spending most of the two hour play session begging me to buy her more food. Sometimes to the point where she eats most of my lunch as well as her own. I can't quite work this out. There is a huge pirate ship themed soft play just sitting there, teasing her with it's ball pond, wiggly slide and rope bridge but she is happier sitting with me munching away. If I can get her to go off and play she is back at the table after every circuit to grab a few chips or a stick of cucumber before she runs off again. I have tried feeding her first then refraining from buying any food at the centre but all she does is hang around the food counter, basically begging like some stray dog...

I've looked around at the other children. This is not usual. Most of them have to be begrudgingly coaxed from the play frame to eat anything. I'm not sure why Little E is obsessed with the food but she is. I now accept that we have to go over lunchtime and she will probably only run about for half the time. My Bestie thinks it is because she wants to do what the grownups do at softplay (drink tea, eat cake and chat) and to be fair she is probably right!

This post is linked to the #letkidsbekids linky. Come join in the fun!

What a crazy week! The pressure of organising Husband's surprise 30th party plus both myself and Little E having a nasty cold took it's toll and I have felt pretty exhausted constantly! Baby bump has been moving and wriggling lots to the point where my stomach looks completely out of shape at times. I have quite enjoyed freaking Husband out though.

We have found out that our C section is booked for 18th February - which coincidentally is Husband's actual birthday. So he's getting the best 30th birthday present ever! I have been busying myself the last few days getting the nursery ready now we are counting down the last few weeks. Washing has been the main priority and I am loving putting all the tiny clothes away ready for Bump's arrival. Despite our hard work getting the nursery ready over the past few weeks the pre-baby to do list is still pretty long...

• Wash all newborn and 0-3 neutral clothes (3 loads down, 2 to go)
  
• Wash all pram, cot and moses basket bedding
  
• Finalise hospital and baby bags
• Order nursing bras
• Order sheets for the co-sleeper cot
• Locate steraliser in the loft
• Fix new hook to back of nursery door
• Sort out the under-stairs cupboard
• Source a cleaner for 6 weeks post C section
• Tidy the utility room
• Finalise Little E's baby book and pack away
• Sort small chest out
• Sort toy box
• Buy Husband, Mum, Dad and Little E's birthday presents (all within a week of the birth)

Over the past few months I have been hiding a secret. A big one. It has involved sneaky skullduggery (one of my favourite words) and downright cunning. I've lied to Husband constantly and surprised myself at how good at it I am... Yes, you've guessed it - I've been planning a surprise party!

Husband turns 30 on 18th February, which is coincidently the day our second child is scheduled to be born by C section. Seven months ago we found out Bump was on the way and immediately realised a clash was probable. Husband was great and didn't make a fuss at all but I knew deep down he was a tiny bit disappointed his big birthday would pass by in a flurry of new baby joy and madness. I was adament I needed to do something special for my big child-at-heart best friend. So I hatched a plan...

I decided to throw a party exactly one month before the big day to (hopefully) avoid baby's arrival and to throw him off the scent. Being a social creature the guest list was huge, over 130 people, which made location tricky but I managed to find the perfect space at David Lloyd leisure centre who were happy to hire us their bar for the night and allow children to join in the party.

The ruse was complicated and I was sure Husband would see through it but it worked! I was dropped off at my In-laws that morning for a pre-baby 'spa day' with his sisters and Husband was scheduled to pick me up from David Lloyd that evening. In reality I spent the day baking his birthday cake whilst my sisters-in-law baked batch after batch of brownies and cookies! It sounds simple but in reality the weeks leading up involved me staying late at work to design invitations, order decorations, manage the RSVP's and make photo bunting. I've had to orchestrate fake nights out to have planning meetings with his folks, sneak clothes and baking equipment out of the house and even stage a fake argument with my mother-in-law to keep him off the scent! My phone has been surgically attached to my right hand and I nearly had a coronary when one guest sent a birthday card a month early!

On Saturday night he arrived and the look on his face when he saw everyone waiting for him was worth the months of effort and stress, hard work and deception. It was an expression I had never seen before and immediately I knew he had absolutely no idea I had been planning anything. It was such a great night and gave Husband the celebration such a special person deserves.

Now back to growing his birthday present...

This post is linked to the Magic Moments linky. Join in the fun at http://theoliversmadhouse.co.uk/magic-moments/

Little E attended her very first non-family toddler party this week. The invite arrived in her nursery bag just before Christmas and I was definitely more excited than her. A third birthday fairy party. I could barely contain myself.

The day of the party arrived and I had her outfit all organised and colour cordinated. Even the present was fairy themed. We arrived and my excitement level rose - there was an entertainer dressed as a fairy!!! I won't use her real name, for purposes of this post I shall call her Fairy Sheila.

Fairy Sheila quickly took charge of the children (and adults) explaining the rules (yes, there were rules at this party) which mainly involved the faries (children) only speaking when they put their hands up and the adults not speaking at all as the faries needed to concentrate on their instructions... This is when I started to panic. Little E concentrating for two hours? My blood pressure rose a little. Remember, this is the child a professional nursery call 'a challenge'.

I shouldn't have worried - she was great at pass the parcel and carefully unwrapped her layers very delicately before passing it along to the next fairy. She struggled a little with the concept of games which involved someone being out and preferred to just keep playing regardless. Following dance moves was a bit hit and miss - what can I say, my child prefers to freestyle. So overall she did really well and I couldn't fault her behaviour (pride seeping from every pour).

Now, Fairy Sheila was another matter. Firstly she completely ignored Little E unless she had her hand up. There was no acknowledgement that she was speaking to her or encouragement to raise her hand so she could respond, she just acted like she wasn't there. Secondly, each game had a prize or two given out at the end. There were only five faries. About 15 prizes were given out. Little E did not win one single prize. Don't get me wrong, my child doesn't need to be the best at everything, in fact she doesn't need to be the best at anything as long as she is happy, but it became apparent half way through that Fairy Sheila was avoiding rewarding Little E. I openly admit most of the other children were concentrating and following instructions better but she was clearly loving every second and trying so hard. And at the end of the day they are three years old! Surely Fairy Sheila should be making sure her prize giving is reasonably evenly distributed amongst the children, all the winners were decided by her apart from the 'find the hidden fairy' game. Remember there were only five of them to keep track of, she knew Eloise hadn't won anything.

It all seemed to go over Little E's head, although she was a little miffed at why she hadn't received anything from the special fairy bag when all the other children had a number of times. At the end if the party Fairy Sheila offered her 'a consolation prize as she hadn't been very good at winning prizes'. That is a direct quote.

I didn't say a word. I was honoured that Little E had been invited to this special party, the concept was great and it was lovely that the birthday fairy's parents (who were running around keeping the parents entertained)had gone to the trouble of hiring an entertainer to make the day special for the children. But Fairy Sheila shot herself in the foot because next year when I organise Little E's fourth birthday party guess who I won't be ringing for a quote...

This post is linked to the #PoCoLo twitter fun over at http://www.vevivos.com/2014/01/17/post-comment-love-newbie-showcase-17th-19th-january-2014/

Last week I shared my first Play Doh phobia therapy session which exposed me to Play Doh in my home for the first time via the Disney Ariel the mermaid kit. This week I progressed to the Mr Pota-Doh Head kit. It went well. Mixing colours is still not allowed but Little E really enjoyed herself. Here is a picture of her somewhat 2D sculpture of a flattened Mr Potato Head #letkidsbekids #minicreations

Last day at work yesterday! Whoop whoop! I must admit it felt very surreal and I don't think it has properly sunk in yet. When Little E is at nursery tomorrow it will all feel real.

I leave work with a mixture of emotions. Relief being the first because over the weekend my pelvis gave in leaving me unable to manage more than a shuffling walk, so physically it is the right time. But there is also some sadness and a sense of unease. Work gives my life structure and allows my brain to channel different avenues which don't get stimulated at home. I like engaging with people on subjects other than mine/their children and being challenged with opinions different from my own. The overriding feeling is that I will miss my team. I work with a fantastic group of people who have been great during my pregnancy. Some I have only known for a short time and others I have worked with for years but they are my home from home and I am going to miss them all.

Another week I haven't managed to capture all 3 of us but here are Little E and Husband having fun at Pizza Express (Other high street pizza chains are available).

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